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I'm a muddle of emotions ... It's finally dawning on me that one… - Vesta-Venus [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Mar. 19th, 2004|12:17 pm]
I'm a muddle of emotions ...

It's finally dawning on me that one week from today - only 7 days - I will be in Europe for the first time. I'm so excited!!!

The whole social life thing and group experience is a muddle. I've been invited out next week with a new social group, but I'm still bothered by suddenly finding myself not fitting into 2 of my chosen communities.

I'm down another pound and my jeans that I bought in January to fit my current body are starting to get loose and almost have to be belted.

I'm worried about the Junior Youth Group Sleep over tonight. All their parents are so apathetic to things at church that I'm wondering if anyone is going to show up. Actually it would be better if no one showed up than if 1 or 2 kids show up because then it isn't fun for them and they wondered why they came, etc.

I finished a poem on Wednesday and am bound and determine to finish that Children's Writing assignment before my trip.

Spiritually, I'm slowly crawling out from the slump of laziness I got myself into. I got back into my Quiet Time yesterday for the first time in about a week. So much for the Lenten project to do devotions both morning and night. I seem to get into these slides that start with "I'll do it later". I wake up late and tell myself, I'll do it firs thing at the office, then it's break 1, lunch, break 2, when I get home, before bed, and then I'm falling into bed exhausted saying that I'll do better the next day. And I pulled this off for a week. Yesterday, I managed to do Bible Study (Psalm 9) in the morning but nothing before bed. Today, I read some Progoff on morning break and we'll see if I can do something tonight.

We are all such creatures of habit. When I was on a roll and sticking to it, it wasn't that hard to do. Once I missed one day, it got easier to mix the next day ... and now I can't fiure out how I was doing it and that was only a week ago.

Had an awesome talk with Janet (will think of a clever LJ name for her later) from church. If I had to pick out spiritual mentor right now, I'd choose her. We talked about group interactions and community and she told me about how she is part of 2 housegroups and at times doesn't think she fits into either of them. So, maybe this isn't me. Maybe everybody feels excluded from groups from time to time - even groups of which they've been a longstanding member.

Janet told me her Lenten project - to get 8 hours of sleep a night. I must have looked at her strange because she started to defend herself saying, "Now you probably think that is really selfish ..." But actually I was thinking that it was the most clever, awesome Lenten project I've heard of in a long time. Janet works 3 or 4 full days a week, is a wife, mother of an adult son and guardian of a teenager (who both live with her), runs the Alpha course at church, is taking a ministry course, and is trying to grow in her personal relationship with God. (Does her life sound like that of anyone we know?) I totally got it when she said that if she doesn't get 8 hours of sleep, she is tired and less productive and has so much less to give to all the people in her life. So, one guess what my Lenten project is going to be in 2005!