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Today is one of those "why did I bother to get out of bed days" - and… - Vesta-Venus [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Apr. 8th, 2004|01:43 pm]
Today is one of those "why did I bother to get out of bed days" - and it's only 1:30!!

I went into the office today to register for those free exercise classes, only to discover that registration was yesterday.

I am on the Health and Fitness committee and when I left on Friday the 26th, today was to be the registration day. We have always used Thursday as I registration day and I know this for certain because I don't work at the government on Thursdays and always have to switch things around to be there. So, some time last week some one got the bright idea to use Wednesday instead and because I wasn't there, I didn't know.

So, now I'm shut out of things until the summer, which isn't the end of the world except that these classes were the only enjoyable thing about going into work. I hate my job and my new interim supervisor is a pompous jerk. He started after I did. So not only did I get to see him promoted over me, but he is loving his position of authority and will drop into my cubicle to tell me things that I already know, and in fact knew before he ever started working here and I am supposed to sit, smile politely, and appear to be listening while he lectures me.

And you may ask, why didn't anyone call me to tell me about the switch in registration days? The truth is that I don't have anyone I'm close to at work. I started in 1997 as 1 of 14 new hires, and they have all left or been promoted and I am the only loser who is still stuck here after 6 years doing the same job. It's on days like today when this point really strikes home. And it's hard because I like to think of myself as being a personal with talents and potential - but apparently not in the Kafkaesque world that is the civil service.

This took about 2 hours round trip for this exercise in futility here. (Unfortunately exercises in futility are not the kind of exercise I desperately need in my life - if they were, I really would be thin by now.) :)

I'm all out of sorts today - not just about the exercise class thing, but also because I probably didn't get into feast at Coronation and have to wait for an email about that, and I have to wait to see what my minister thought of the monologue I wrote for the service tomorrow. I'm going to be very disappointed if he says "no" after all of the work I put into it.

I should find something to do this afternoon to cheer myself up.

[User Picture]From: buttongirl
2004-04-08 11:55 am (UTC)
Perhaps you could go for a walk and see how the bulbs are doing in your area... I saw an _almost_ open crocus yesterday, and it just totally made my day. Or come have tea and cookies with us here tonight, I can show you the one I found! :-D
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From: fairydarkfire
2004-04-08 03:51 pm (UTC)
I wish you could come join us as well. :(
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-04-09 10:22 am (UTC)

"The truth is that I don't have anyone I'm close to at work."

As one of your co-workers I can only say:

So ... I'm chopped liver?

I suspect that these journals are a helpful outlet for frustrations, and perhaps that slants them towards the negative.

All the same, when I read that there was no one you felt "close to" at work, I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

I don't know how much to read into what this says about your opinion of our friendship.

I am sorry that you spent an unproductive two hours because of the changed date for the exercise classes. That sucks. I hope you're able to find a space in a class, even if it isn't right away or your first choice. My own absences from work and resulting schedule meant that I didn't find out in time to warn you. To be honest, though, since I knew you were coming in and I wasn't planning to sign up myself, I doubt it would have registered that the date had changed in any case.

I sympathise with the aspects of your life that are difficult. There are a number. But I also see you as one of the few people I know who has accomplished the things that you said you wanted four to five years ago - a wonderful little girl, one job that fufils your sense of mission, a combined income from your two jobs that allows you to have a house. You've also just come back from Europe - a long time desire. I was hoping to read about that today. I really hope that you're enjoying all these wonderful aspects of your life.

There are things that you want that you don't have now. I have full confidence that in another five years you'll achieve most of those too, and I hope that you can take some pleasure out of that thought in the mean time.

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[User Picture]From: vesta_venus
2004-04-11 10:35 pm (UTC)

Re: "The truth is that I don't have anyone I'm close to at work."

This was in no way intended to be a slight against you. I don't really think of you as being one of my co-workers because:

a) I think of you as a friend not a co-worker since our relationship takes place for the most part outside the office,
b) we don't work in the same section, same floor, or have any on the job interaction. (And since your section has stopped hiring riff-raff from my section and started hiring only from the outside, it might as well be a separate department/directorate.)
c) I have been there since 1997 and you have come and gone, but our relationship has continued,
d) I see you once a week maybe at work, and
e) We don't work at the same job

Meanwhile since 1997, my co-workers (i.e. the people who do the same job as me that I work beside) have come and gone. At times, I tried to get close to people, but it never worked out. Currently I have two (A and E) that I do like, but I am not close to them.

If I had thought there was the slightest possibility that the date was going to chance, I would have called Pierre myself. It doesn't surprise me that no one called me. (If I was on no one's radar screen to call for important things like how no one called me the year I was on maternity leave to tell me that they were running the firs competition in 3 or 4 years for the next level up for my job, then I certainly didn't expect to be notified about something like exercise class registration.) I was merely answering an obvious question in advance i.e. why didn't anyone call you?

And I knew you were on vacation that week - which is why I didn't bring my daughter into the building. I knew none of my coworkers could care less about seeing her.

You are right that I am lucky to have my daughter. She alone makes life bearable at times ...

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