||[Apr. 22nd, 2004|09:56 pm]
Today was the first of our weekly prayer meetings. Getting up for 6:30 was easier than I thought because I woke up at 4:45 and never made it back to sleep. On the positive side, I did sleep from 11:30 to 4:45 - over 5 hours straight, a record since this cold began.|
I had an amazing time with Hedwig (Janet) despite the fact that we were locked out of the Parish House. (I have got in a bad habit of tossing keys beside my purse instead of in it - and therefore they were sitting on my office church inside the locked building.) But we prayed in her car for over an hour. It was incredible.
And since since next we will actually be inside the library and I hopefully won't be blowing my nose every 5 minutes through our prayers - so next week could be even better!
I managed to do a lot today for a woman running on 5 hours of sleep. Ever since Hedwig prayed for me and talked to me last week, I've got my enthusiasm and passion back. I decided to take advantage of the fact that I'm in a slow period right now (everything that was to occur recently has been canceled and I haven't lined up any May activities yet) to get some of those things that I never have time for done. Today I cleaned up my office. OK, there is still some of the junk that I cleaned out of the Sunday School cupboards left on my couch, but all the junk and piles of paper are off of my floor. I sorted the time-intensive projects into a handful of piles - with everything I need to do the project in one place. I identified some stuff that I haven't found a use for a 1 or 2 years and it is going in the Parish rummage sale tomorrow.
Hedwig lent me a copy of "The Bait of Satan". It's not about spiritual warfare like you might think, but about how we can inadvertently offend each other and how unforgiveness (especially the self-justified kind when you have been unfairly treated) leads to bitterness and division. I read the first two chapters tonight.
One thing that grabbed me was when he said that we can't love unconditionally while trying not to get hurt. To love unconditionally means allowing other to hurt you. Oh-oh. This one strikes home. I really do want to be more loving. But I am so afraid of getting hurt again. I am by my very nature very intraverted and guarded. Well, no wonder I've been having such a hard time of it if I'm trying to do the impossible. I guess I have to pray about this too.
And then, Acorn-girl called to say that we could have feast spots at Coronation after all. I almost said "no" because I had gotten over feeling bad about not going, had made other plans (mostly with myself to get things done), and was actually looking forward to my "bonus day". But I said yes, and will be happy to see KES become a pelican and see so many people that I know. (I hope this hasn't been one of those life lessons in patience, letting go, and adaptability!!)