||[May. 28th, 2004|04:50 pm]
I had an epiphany yesterday.|
My minister and I have been discussing for a while how it seems harder to do things than even 2 years ago or 5. We could never put our finger on the problem. We had work conflicts, cottages, sports teams, extra-curricular activities, etc 2-5 years ago. There wasn't a new factor.
Then in discussing something with a mother, I had one of those a-ha moments. She was telling yesterday me about how she didn't know whether her daughter would be going to the JYG event tonight or not because they MIGHT be going away this weekend. I felt like saying "This weekend is 36 hours away - when do you think you might know." when it hit me.
People, even more so than 2-5 years ago, don't want to make a commitment. People like to keep their options open. No one says "yes" anymore. People say "no" (if it's something they don't want to do or if they definitely have something better to do)or they say "maybe".
I ran upstairs and told my minister, who agreed with me. Of course, this epiphany doesn't solve anything, but at least being able to name the problem helps clarify this frustration we've both been under.
And so, I head off into the weekend:
-not knowing how many kids are coming tonight. I'm driving 2 and 2 are meeting me there. There are 3 maybe's. I hope they all don't come, because my car only holds 4 passengers tops.
-thinking of canceling my party Saturday night. Four confirmed attendees does not a party make and I have no idea how to shop for food for a dozen maybes.
-watching my husband get frustrated over cooking for a church lunch that 20-90 people might attend.
The party is a downer. I got in the bad habit of being the one who always hosted the get-togethers when I was young. Now I'm friends with several people who don't have parties of their own, but who want me to have lots of get-togethers so that they will have the option of picking and choosing which fun ideas I plan they will attend. It's burning me out because its too close to what I do with the Youth Group and Junior Youth Group. If I was smart I'd swear that I'd never try to have another party. But the truth is that if I am not the one to organize and plan the social stuff, I never get to do anything fun. So, I will sulk that no one wanted to come to my place and have fun with me this weekend for a while, and then in 6 months (when the memory of this has faded) I'll probably plan another party.
I had a long talk with my brother yesterday. We resolved some issues. He heard how hurt I was over this party nonsense. He still isn't coming, but he knows I want to go to Pikeman's next weekend. So, he upgraded his "no" to a "maybe". It's the best I could have hoped for under the circumstances. :)