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Advice Please [Jun. 15th, 2004|12:04 pm]
I'm not usually indecisive, but could use some input. Anyone is allowed to comment.

It's about choosing between 2 places to go next Saturday (June 26), but I have to decide by Friday. Here's the facts:

Jocelyn invited me, in May, to a party at her house. It's one of those home-sale parties, but the thing being sold is sexual paraphernalia (lingerie, massage oils, etc.) [Anyone who knows me really well can now re-compose themselves at the thought of me going to such a party.]

I told Jocelyn that I would go, not because I was particularly interested in the products, but because many of the people she invited were people I knew from the (Middle Easter)dance community. I thought it would be an opportunity to see some of these people again. And I'm no so much of a prude that looking at lingerie and sexual devices for an hour or so would kill me. It's been on my calendar for a while now.

Julie (another local dance teacher) emailed me yesterday. She's have an end-of-year dance party on the same night. She invited me and asked me if I would dance (like a solo)at it.

Here's the pros and cons:

1) I told Jocelyn I would go. Keeping promises is important to me and I hate when people cancel out on me because they got a better offer. It would run against the grain of who I try to be to ditch Jocelyn for Julie.

2) I did get a cryptic email from Jocelyn yesterday. I told her I was going several weeks ago and we've been emailing back and forth. Then she adds "too bad you can't make it to the party". What party? Does she think I'm not going to hers?

3) I met Julie once on May 22. I've known Jocelyn since 2000. We aren't close friends, but definitely good acquaintances through dance.

4) I did say after Jauhara's party on June 3 that I wished I had the opportunity to do my solo again. I might get better with practice, on the other hand, I could blow it and look stupid in front of Julie and who ever else is at this party. Jocelyn's party carries no chance to improve myself, but also no risk of failure.

5) Both parties will probably have food and drinks. Both will have people from the dance community. My quest to find someone who is teaching this summer and figure out who I want to take lessons from in the fall could be helped by going to either place.

6) Jocelyn's party will have products that I have no interest in buying. At Julie's, I'll get to watch other dancers.

7) In terms of driving time, Julie is about a 35 minute drive and Jocelyn is 60 minutes. (This actually isn't a high priority factor.)


[User Picture]From: bhanfhlaith
2004-06-15 10:17 am (UTC)
The only factor on a well-bred lady's table is to whom you agreed first, which is Jocelyn. No one should ever feel like your word is contingent on how convenient or entertaining they are compared to your other options. Period.

I would ask her about the weird cryptic email though.

That's my take on it based on what you wrote.
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[User Picture]From: vesta_venus
2004-06-15 02:02 pm (UTC)
That is the ethical high road.

Who would have ever thought the answer to WWJD could ever involve having to go to a party at which vibrators could be displayed? :)
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[User Picture]From: bhanfhlaith
2004-06-15 06:57 pm (UTC)
What would Jackie O do? (winks)

There is nothing wrong with the Ethical high road. People will respect you even if they don't like the answer. Seriously. You won't kick your own ass later for being rude.
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[User Picture]From: ladyfreque
2004-06-15 01:17 pm (UTC)
Interestig problem. First question, have you prayed about a possible solution? After that I would contact Jocelyn, ask her about the odd comment. There may be a chance to bow out gracefully of her party and to do the dance solo, which I suspect is privately your real desire. Good luck!
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[User Picture]From: vesta_venus
2004-06-15 02:04 pm (UTC)
I am going to contact her. A new thought hit me this afternoon - to ask if I could go a little late, in mean, I'm going there to see people not the presentation anyway. Depending on her answer, I may have my solution.
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From: mszimbolist
2004-06-15 02:15 pm (UTC)
take Jocelyn out for a cup of coffee and shopping. Go dance. :)
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-06-20 03:17 pm (UTC)
Any chance that your belly dancing party is down my way? I think the dance studio I go to is having a fundraiser on the same night.

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